till dusk;

hey you,
thank you for staying up with me.
& you're making me laugh non-stop.
aah! i'm laughing like a crazy happy person.
thank youuuu.
(:

our story doesn't end here.

today is the official day we step down as exco's,
as the committee board,
and me as the assistant head prefect.
but this doesn't put a full stop to our journey,
our story
and our friendship.

prem & I started tearing when the slideshow's were playing.

I had fun.

thank you everyone
& great job done to all!

pictures and details will be shared soon. (:

I'll miss you people
and you.

under the stars;

I finished it and I like it.
the guest book, i mean.
maybe i should do a scrapbook before i leave high school;
and compile all the photos, notes and memories i have.
(:

thank you for staying up late with me.
see you tomorrow.

good night.

p.s* i love being where i am right now; in the midst of this sweet taste of reality.

I'll be here.

today was exhausting, but it was good and productive. spent the day in the hall as we got the decorations up, did an informal rehearsal, clean up the place and get everything done. and yeay! we're ready for the big day, the day we step down; tomorrow. but, not much of a smile and excitement over there, i don't want to leave.

which reminds me i still have certain tasks to be done by tonight. (:

i don't know how to say this and I'm afraid it might get pretty offensive, but I'm happy with what's happening now.the new board, the co-operations we have with maybe a little one or two upsets here and there. but, it's okay. we learn from past mistakes.

on a completely random note;
in the last 10 hours, i learned that
-those friends who doesn't come up to you and congratulate you on your success but on the other hand gives you a cold shoulder aren't your true friends.
-these certain few people are just too demanding. come on, be happy! what's the point of your last minute little 'plans' and that depressing frown you have plastered on your face when everything's already a statement now.
-actually,these people don't really get overboard when they want something.

THEY GO WAY OVER FOR IT.

-seriously, I'm glad you're born a day earlier. (: if not, you know why.
-when these people demands for something, they try every single thing they can think of.but when they don't get it, they give you that freezing shoulder they have there even when they are your close friend. get over it, people. you know you have flaws too.
-I'm sad I'm leaving behind this sad part of the story. I wish i could stay, but we're not in Never land.
-some people are just to selfish that they can't share something. only after you find out about it, then they start pouring it all out.
-some people on the other hand, have too much to comment even if we didn't ask for their comment.
-don't expect too much, my dear friend. though you didn't get what you wished for, at least you have something now, which is always better than nothing.
-and to that certain few people, be nice to people, be happy and contented with what you have and please keep your comments to yourself. no use speaking that much. we ask you for a yes/no answer, you give us a good 5 minutes lecture. and if you're asked to do something, please just do it. don't fight back.
-besides, some people are just way too nice.they know when to slam a smile onto your face. (:
-only the things and the ones you love most can hurt you very deeply and etch a deep scar right in the middle of your heart.
- i have you people. =)

back on track. you know what, I'm glad I have these form 5's as a team.the exco's, the board and the rest of them.
tomorrow's the day; all hopes that everything will go well. I'm going to have fun. xD
off to complete my tasks. see you soon.

so this is how it started all over again;

definitely better;
definitely sweeter;
definitely closer;
definitely, as always.

this is us.

by God's grace;

things weren't going as well since Thursday,
due to reasons.
On Thursday night before i slept,
i prayed that things will be alright again and i told myself that tomorrow will be a better day.
Friday came,
things were as bad in the morning.
and after a while, it got slightly better.
but when midnight approached,
everything seemed like a stranger to me.
and it sounded so formal that i thought I'd lost that touch.
and again on Friday night,
before i slept;
i prayed to the Lord and told Him that i needed everything to work out,
hoping that on Saturday everything will undergo a 360 degrees turn.
amazingly and by God's grace,
everything did.
I'm glad I found mr.sunshine again.
this relationship will never break.
those excruciating three days of silent killers, but I'm just so glad it's over.
& I'm happy we're all alright now.
happy little us!

thank you Lord.(:

pour those colours out.

as read in my earlier post which i just copied and pasted it from someone's blog site, I went for the jazz fest yesterday night; also another meet-up with the cousins from klang and vancouver. but this time around, ian was there.

i guess it was because i wasn't used to those kind of music that all of the songs sounded the same; apart from mia palencia's. she was good, really good. and then after some time, dear cousin justine, her dad, my sister and myself headed to mcD's for ice-cream, fries and a drink. that place was like ' wow, finally some peace!' haha not that bad, but yea.the jazz was okay actually after some time. (:
and then at mcD's, when we were at the counter, we were like invisible people for a good 5 minutes or so. the poor attendant was so busy and looked like he would colapse anytime soon. even justine kind of offered to help him. xD okay, not really but she just said pity that poor fella. and the rest of the crew didn't bother attending to us. the not so funny yet quite funny thing happened later on. the guy at the back of us was on the phone and this was what he told the person at the other end of the line:

guy on phone: saya di sini sudah 20 minute. sekarang ada traffic jam...*long pause* di mcDonald's.

my goodness, the business in mont kiara was so good last night. we got our orders and settled down. all in all, it was good. left MK around 12 and reached home close to one. watched honey, i blew up the baby till 2.30. and slept at 3. long night; but not as bad as our NIE nights.

church today. not much of a story to tell there. except that adele was there till the end. (: next time must stay longer also, okay?

installation's on Tuesday. a part of me can't wait for the big day yet another part of me is dreading for it to come. and yeay! yuen yang's coming. =) i hope this would be good.

tomorrow will be another drama-filled day, i bet.

the cousin connection;

I went for a jazz festival with my cousins and our parents today. The food was good. The music was not bad. It was very bad. My cousin sisters are getting pretty funny these days.

Cousin Sister 1: This is noise pollution!
Someone: I feel like snatching the guitar and smashing it hard against the floor.
Cousin Sister 2: Yeah. Let's do that...in our imagination!

Someone: Such awesome music.
Cousin Sister 1: I feel so touched.

p.s* I find this interesting. and if you're smart enough, you might just guess which one of the characters stated above is me. (: have fun.

resources: http://thejustinediaries.blogspot.com/
you can also guess who is she. XD

where's my sunshine?

if your name is julian or hoe wei or dana, you'll know how bad I looked today.because this three people are the ones that surround me everyday in class when my mind is off wandering about, drifting apart. and thank you to you three who have always been there, especially at times like these.

I was very down today, due to reasons. I am truly sorry to this particular person. I know I shouldn't have did what i did, and I definitely learn from my mistakes. I'm sorry.

I know that together, the both of us can overcome this obstacle, this barrier. and I truly know that we will always share that lasting relationship because you know why.

yesterday i went to sleep, telling myself that today would be better. I'm just praying that everything will turn out right and perfect.

and to you, I realised something. something that you and i share. I now wonder whether you'll still be curious in finding it out. but, it's okay. because i have a feeling that the sunshine and rainbow will be out at the same time, very soon. things will get better, right? (:

you know how i feel.

i'll call your name.

I'm sorry.
I'll try to give you some time alone.
but, you know that I'll always be here.

just by knowing how much you care really makes me happy.
I do not wish for anything from you,
i only hope that you'll come back to your normal self;
because i know it was all my fault.

turned scarlet.

first and foremost,

Happy Birthday Kar Meng! (:

hope you'll have a great birthday.
& many many more blessings to come.

today was good on the rehearsal part, definitely better than yesterday. and today it was someone's turn to not be in school. ): the day started off pretty ok with a wee bit of sadness. because .... you know why larr. went to class only to find out that half the class were either out, absent or got abducted by the aliens. okay, maybe not the last part. it was a pretty sad sight. wait, how can pretty and sad be together? XD anyway, back on track, plopped down in the chair next to hoe wei while ju was behind reading reader's digest. did what we normally do and then things started to take place. i forgot what, but yea things happened.
then it was history period. had to do some group presentation with questions given by teacher. not bad, at least not another boring dull sleep-inducing period. and then it was add math with very few people in class. teacher told us that it's sad that we could now count the days left together in high school. yes, very depressing.
recess was hectic. i had to ask my class teacher to re-print my mid-term results slip, go see the senior assistant of student affairs and then the principal followed by a couple more errands. and and the thing is, there was some problem with printing out my results slip. sigh. but thank God everything else fell back on track and on time. a sigh of relief slipped out as soon as i exited the principal's office because i knew i wasn't late for the rehearsal. the prefect's had to go for our rehearsal after recess and that left less than half of the class who had physics and bm.
to cut it short, the rehearsal was not bad. and it was funny at certain parts. new changes, new plans and a BIG happy surprise at the end of the day before the school bell went off. i was literally jumping up and down in joy. happy little kid.
stayed back for a while and then they came back. but, according to someone, it was tiring but fun.
oh yes, i had a very nice dream last night. very very nice dream. my mum was driving me and another close friend of mine in a car, by this very serene countryside with the beach, yachts and boats, beach side houses, seagulls, gushes of wind and clear blue sky. the roads were narrow and the shops in the dream was very mexicon-british. well, in the dream i told my friend that i wanted to have a house somewhere along that area, because i had a feeling that I'll spend the rest of my life there. and the thing is, we were on the search for restaurants where the both of us could go and learn a dish or two from these chefs. i now have a feeling it's some sort of an island while recalling back the dream. this place need not have high class sophisticated expensive restaurants or any branded shops, because it all felt like home and everyone is happy with their life. by the beach, with the gushes of fresh air every now and then and blue sky above.

i told that friend of mine in school today who happen to be the one in the dream and he told me that there is this place which fitted the descriptions i gave. what co- incidence. and the best part is, the both of us thought of getting ourselves into culinary arts. so, there you go..can you see the connection? culinary arts and searching for restaurants to learn a dish or two? XD and we were talking about it yesterday evening about being big chef's and or bakers. now i wonder, would this happen? because then,where is the other person? perhaps at home, a home that we share. or by the hammock under the sun that we set up yesterday just right outside our house, on the patio. or was he the one also in the car, next to me but i can't bring myself to remember.because i know there was someone next to me, all the time. yes, definitely so.

hey you.
how are you doing? feeling better?
I'd like to do what i want to do for a long time now.

being there without you.

being there without you wasn't all that good.

yesterday- taman s.e.a prefect's installation.
sp prefect's who went- effendy, ashman, prem, mimi & me! (:

so we left school around 7.25 and got there by 7.33 or so. got ourselves to their hall and we were the only guest prefect's to be there. ashman found his tuition friend, navin while we were on our way to the hall. and so, navin was our tour guide for the day. felt a little awkward but at least we had each other. people started coming and before we knew it, everything started to happen. the performances was good and entertaining with a dash of humour. but the best thing was, we could see a lasting bond among them. and thank you to navin, for bringing us around the school though you might not read this. half way through our tour, met up with yuen yang though i saw him in the hall but i didn't think he recognise me. he only did later on. ohh, and i saw his little brother too. (: saw one or two ex-puay chai-ians there too, but didn't get to see joanne.

and my goodness, prem and mimi got crazy over this form 3 guy by the name of daniel who plays the drums and bass. XD took some pictures and well, had fun getting to know new people, new friends, all prefect's. during performances, they took my camera and snapped some pictures non-stop. and thanks ashman, for helping us with the pictures. and yea, ash found someone too. *coughumm..cough.thiscoughchinesecoughgirlcoughcough* haha the only neutral one was effendy. well, i mentioned this guy's name but i don't like him. because *coughstayloyalcoughtohimcough* haha sorry for that. don't bother trying to figure out why. all in all, it was good and really worth skipping a day's classes. oops, sorry. but yea, I'm glad i decided to attend it. but, something awkward happened which i rather not share it here. :] and yeaa, i got a picture with yuen yang who was there half way through our tour. thank youuuu. i didn't thought you dance. XD

came back and told someone who supposed to be there about the entire thing. and apparently, he knows all the people that i mentioned to him. he also knows the person involved in the awkward thing.such a small world. but that's no surprise, as taman sea and sp is quite near to each other and the only primary school located around that area would be kampung tunku. XD so, there you go. *hint hint* if only you could put the pieces together, you would have a clear picture of what i went through. but I'm very sure that the decision and choice i made was right. (:
he pulak told me that ashman told him something funny about me. oh yess, even going to taman s.e.a, the teases about me never ends. wherever i go, they follow. hehe and before i end, he got me that guys number. such a nice person, who said 'i only want you happy'! correction: such a nice and sweet person. ;)

such random post today.

being there without you wasn't a nice feeling,
though you thought i had fun with all the stuff we said after we came back,
i definitely missed something, one thing in school.
guess what?

turn me around;

you know i prefer your number, anytime.

i like the way you make me happy.
and everything you say.

we'll sit here, till the skies turn violet.

so much shocked received today in school. the things i never knew, didn't knew was being revealed today. (: & to you both, thanks for sharing.

a conversation that happened last week;

hoe wei turns around.
him: favou- or favo- ?
me: favou-, favourite is it?
him: yea.
me: you British or American?
him: I'm Chinese.
me: ohh then, there's no favourite.. it's xi huan.

and both of us end up bursting into fits of laughter. (:

mr.the one right in front, potassium or hydroxide or the t-shirt size?
you know what i mean. XD

I'm tripping over,
falling over..
into thy arms.
i'm glad that you love it.
because i love it too.

holding on;

the truth is,
I'm trying to hold on.
holding on to these silent killers,
to these cast aways,
and to the truth that I'm tripping over.

but, above all that I'm going through..
i have someone that i can hold on to,
someone i can share every happiness and sorrows with,
someone who will always be my pillar of support,
fountain of love;
and who will get me drenched in the rain of love.
someone that I've been blessed with.

ich liebe.

three months.

paint them down.

tore a page off my bedside journal;

(:

meet the class monitor, treasurer of prefect's board and treasurer of Christian fellowship.

this is julian or ju or the boy who sits next to me.
and this is his hobby. XD

chan hoong the cameraman. prem the interviewer.ashman the interviewee.
and all i did was laugh my head off the entire time. sorry!

this is wonder woman dana and fishball fishy kok khong.
or ms. editor and mr. class monitor.

and this is the kawan baik who well, i can share stuff with. (;
hoe wei.

you can see her name there.
busy girl with so much on her plate also part of e.d.en.

kaaar meng! (:momentarily boredom;priceless moments.

day ninety.

hey you,
does your hand still hurts?

drawn closer by the day, don't you think? (:

a 19 of us from the three science class took the kuiz kimia kebangsaan or better known as chemistry quiz today in the library. the quiz was tough and the library was so cold. even after switching places with ju, i was freezing by the time we finished. and boy, the weather outside was so hot. so, it was hot then freezing cold then extremely hot again. no wonder when i got to physics lab after the quiz, my head was feeling slightly heavy. ):

sorry to my friends who was there when i wasn't feeling that well and kind off got upset a little. I'm sorry. which reminds me, i got fooled by one of my dearest kawan baik yesterday. it was such a long story. priceless moments like these. (;

and today is..

Happy Birthday Piser!

sorry for disturbing you the whole of today by calling your name and waving at you. haha you should have seen your own facial expression. XD it was fun though.

on a truly random note,
i have two favourite pictures now. one taken by *ahem* and another by the one who fooled me.
and also today during oral period which teacher normally just sits there and does his own work, hoe wei, ju, prem and i sat together and the camera was on the roll. didn't know prem had the 'blonde' side of her.

tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow..guess what day is tomorrow? (:

and i've got so many pictures to share.

you, to me.

you know me too well.
you understand me more than i thought you did.
days like these are days to be treasured, till always.

bedside journal.

now i know how they feel when I'm down due to a particular reason.
they; my close friends.
the ones that know everything that's happening in my life.

today felt a little empty because the kawan baik wasn't his usual self. but, I'm just glad for the message received from him just now. because everything is getting on track and tomorrow will be better, right? and I'm amaze with how God works; whether it is directly like a voice speaking to you, through someone or even through a song. (: am i glad that you're alright!

and then there was the personal time shared. it really feels like the way it supposed to be now. what you did and what you told me was really unexpected. never thought you would say so, but I'm feeling so beloved. (: thank you for the times you made happy, thank you for the times you got me soaked in your love, thank you for the times you protected me, thank you for just being you. ;) and I'm thankful for having a friend, a someone like you in my life.

back on track. today is the 14th of July, which is also a Monday and also makes tomorrow a Tuesday.which also means we have bio class tomorrow. haha getting happy! you want to know why? because umm...there..that..you know...yea! =) which also means i have double period add maths tomorrow. permutations felt a little confusing but i guess it's starting to be fun. I'm side tracking again. okay, as said today wasn't that energetic, hyper and cheerful.i was actually very reluctant to get up this morning and didn't felt like going to school but that something had me and i went. so, i was getting excited about today in the morning due to i don't know what reasons. but, i know i was really excited and felt like i was on cloud nine. then during assembly, i went to gate 4 and stayed throughout the entire assembly with cheng ching *ahem*, wing yew and junaida. talked, laughed and got teased. but, it was good, knowing that we're stepping down soon. classes today were extremely slow, bored and was seriously lacking of energy because the usual gang was so quiet except for me and your miss editor, not mine. xD anyway, everything's good now and I'm looking forward to a better happier more energetic tomorrow.

squeezed in between..something about yesterday.
i thought it was me when it wasn't and she thought it was her when it wasn't either.
it's just funny how things like that happens, right youknowwhoyouare?

rewind to yesterday. church was good, i particularly like the after church get together or namely just the jamming session. wee ric on drums, eric with the bass, yi on piano, wee zcent on bass who all of a sudden started singing so loudly and the three of us - sherina, me and zhen bi doing what we're best at. & my dear friend little bear was very very quiet yesterday. ): later on, came home to change and left for subang parade to meet up with cousin and her family. as usual, guess where we went? no award for guessing this right. so, i got my copy of p.s i love you, Archie's and a birthday card so perfect for someone. *ahemmonkeyahemmonkeyahem* my sister didn't follow us this time, she went with my mum and aunty. so, it was just me and her. walked around aimlessly after that and we came to a halt at this little shop where she so patiently help me pick out a knitted head band. thank you le cousin. (: came home and read Archie's. and then someone messaged for a while. went to sleep happily last night!

happiness i have comes from the little pleasant things in my life.
save the love,
send the sorrows and unhappiness to the bin.

i just don't feel like a 17 year old.

& you know you make me go happyyyy!
yes, that's you to me.

the blankets.

what can i do now?
I'm in pajamas, i think i just sprained my left knee cap and hamstring because my left leg feels a bit loose at the moment and i have a bowl of hot noodle soup by my side.
so, what do i do? ) :

today's really good. (:
because I'm just feeling very happy.
it amazes me with how things always happens.

hello everyone. as said, today's been good and nice. during bio class, we learned about pre menstrual syndrome, in vitro fertilisation and practically how babies were formed. and so, the four of us had our usual bio talks. ju, hoe wei, me and chan hoong. the things they say, hahahaha i don't know what to say. and then we said how many kids we wanted and blablabla. when it comes to chapter 4 biology form 5, where we learn deeper about reproduction, they seemed to get all excited. * oh yes, i found out some really interesting co-incidences here. but,I'm not going to tell you.=) * then throughout the day, we just played around with the camera and just enjoy each other's company besides the studying and doing our work. after school, while waiting for certain people, hoe wei, ju and i went to the chess club meeting where we just sat around and talked to teacher. and and and i found out something. something that shocked me and cause me to stone for a while. but, i suspected it coming already. so, not much of a surprise there. *to that somebody who I'm talking about, hehe it was really obvious larr* and then ju, hoe wei and i walked to hw's place. but, ju left us both half way at the junction and headed home. so, the both of us walked by ourselves and we kind off purposely use ju's camera to snap random shots just to finish up his memory space. xD but, you know what? it was fun. those pictures were really random. and out of 30 something pictures, i particularly like one. anyway, yea..i had a great day though i missed my afternoon nap again. )= I'll fall asleep anytime now. but then, I'll stay awake for something.

the close and best friends i have,
those that i can share anything everything with
and they'll always be my pillar of support and comfort;
they're really amazing.
you three loved ones. (:

hey youuu. (; got my little note?

your sweater.

your sweater, it's so warm.
may i hold on to it always?

today is our final formal prefect's meeting with them prefects'.
sad leaving them, reluctant to leave the board.
but deep inside, we know we'll miss all of you
and the times we spent together.
thank you all for sharing such sweet memories and going through everything together!

so, I'm half awake half asleep while typing this blog post. I've missed my afternoon naps for quite some time now.and I feel like sleeping. but, I still have homework and certain stuff to do. (: anyway, as said, today is the last official meeting for us form 5 prefect's. the form 5's had our last speeches, said our thank you's and had quite some fun. it didn't feel like a meeting actually. but, all in all i enjoyed this whole period of time where i wore the blue shirt and white skirt to school every morning and i know i will never regret making that decision. today is Thursday, which means tomorrow is a Friday. and you know what? Friday is a happy day because... =) and then today, we four eden people had our usual eden talks. I'm sure going to miss every single bit of high school because in about 4 months time, i won't be able to see these loved ones every single day. i was just thinking, can't we have a year of high school without exams and big important assignments that carries heavy marks? you know, just a year where we could enjoy each other's company and put aside the exams but do more practical learning together? well, if only that would happen which is close to impossible. and I'm leaving high school soon. ): this is getting emotional, leaning towards the sad and tearing side. better stop soon.

to you,
you know, today felt like a dream come true.
because you did something unexpected,
which i truly appreciate.
it's those little traits and things that you have and do,
they make me feel blessed.
to have someone so nice and special like you in my life.

second chances.

today, we four learned something.

we were awaken by certain consequences & mistakes while in the process of learning and discovering. but, it's alright. because we learn from them, even if we had nothing to do with it or we didn't make the mistakes. and also because we'll be there for each other. to the other three of you, thank you.

hey you. thanks for being there. (: I'm just really happy although we had to go through that little surprise together.but, thank you. and although at times you make me unhappy a little, but you definitely know how to make me feel like a princess and the happiest person.you know who you are. =)

that smile.

it's those little little things that you do,
they make me happy.

got soaked in your rain again.(:

and this is it.

it's very natural for happiness to be followed by sorrows, problems and grief.
but all we have to do is focus on the happiness though it might come in smaller portions.
forget the unhappiness and just move on.
because all these isn't worth it,
isn't worth a heartache.

& as someone had told me the other day,
"why are you feeling so down?
is it because of ___________?
you know what? expect nothing especially in this kind of situation.
if the other person doesn't appreciate, it's their loss, not yours."

so, (: and be yourself.

definitely you.

i feel like it was just raining happiness & love this morning.
and i got myself soaked in it.
thank you.
(:

it's just that.

seems like I've so much to say today,which it doesn't usually happens.

you know what? it isn't very nice mimicking people's way;
whether it's their way of writing, their way of saying something or their ideas.
in this case, I'm speaking from the first person's point of view.
it is more hurtful when you use their way, their ideas, their style
to go against them and say hurtful words about them.
because all these isn't worth your time, and so isn't mine.
I'm amaze I'm saying this to you.

day eighty.

before i went to bed last night, i told myself;
"tomorrow will be a better day."
i said that due to a certain few reasons.

my morning wasn't a good start because i woke up to a stomach ache and was turning myself here and there, reluctant to drag myself out of bed. and then, i managed to get to school with a perfectly alright tummy. again, the first few hours of being in school wasn't all that good. with thoughts pouring into my head and sights i couldn't bare to see, i brought myself to a halt somewhere. later, during chemistry, all of a sudden, i felt sick. i left class for a while by myself to catch some fresh air and headed back to class to get some stuff. as i got myself back to the chem lab, i felt a little better and thought that maybe things will start getting better. and as i sat down on my stool, someone so nice asked me a BIG question. i couldn't help but to laugh. & things started getting a little better i guess. because someone else was nicer. (:

the time during recess and after recess was much much better, i can say. because i enjoyed myself with some two people.but, you know what, it could have been better with you around though i guess you were just a stone's throw away. (;

day eighty.
let's share a cup of tea.(:
***

let me share a little something,
which i believe needs clear clarification.
you know, when i said i needed a break because i have something coming up,
i really meant so.
but then, i didn't mean that i would go into a shell and be an anti-social.
because i think a certain few people have got it wrong.

and this is just random,
also to no one in particular;
just a little note to self.
but if i don't share my problems with a few of you
it's because i can't.
not because i don't want to,
it's just that i have one or two issues which are really personal,
and hopefully you all won't go thinking that you are unworthy.
also because you all don't know the real truth,
so please don't go guessing stories.

sometimes i wish i can wonder off for a while.
to somewhere so serene, somewhere so breath-taking.
and just share that place with another somebody.

spell it out.

this is hard.

it's amazing how people tend to forget about the ones who has gone through a certain difficulties with them and care more for those who are able to be there for them right now;
maybe just maybe forgetting and leaving behind the previous ones.

i don't know how they feel, but this is what i have to say.
label me as sensitive, it doesn't matter to me.

because as far as I am concern,
i am doing what i need to do,
and maybe it is really the right time to move on.
and as much as i care,
i really don't have the energy to take more steps.
then again,
would these steps be taken to heart?

would you take me somewhere?

from somewhere deep within;

sometimes i guess simple words or sentences you say
would cause a certain part of the world to completely shut you down
and take your existence for an illusion or just a shadow.

every night.

maybe it's getting a little less exciting.
but we'll work it out somehow,I'm sure.
I promise you.
and I'll put my all in it to make it work.
because I can't afford to lose this,
can't afford to lose this blessing.

a lil' boy.

today, today is some extraordinary day.
Happy 2oth birthday to the cousin!
(:
it feels like you're just a little kid.
no matter what,you'll always be that little young boy to us,
to me.

then again.

i just need to tell you about everything.i just need you here.

day seventy six.

there was something about you & I. It was something I've never felt before.
& then all of a sudden, today my heart felt something really different.
As much as i wanted to do it for you, with you, to you, i couldn't.
But just so you know, i really wanted to.
And at one point, I just felt like leaving everything behind
and run towards you.
I promise myself I'll do it, someday.

and this, is all for you.
because you know why.

tell you something.

today,

long day. great breakthrough. unexpected ending.

it feels like family all over again.
it feels like we're closer than before.
it feels like we trust each other so much more.
it feels like we can share everything with each other.
it feels like we can just open up & pour everything out.
it feels like us.

and because this is us;
we'll start all over again.

a gush of wind.

this will be the last month us seniors carry out our duty as prefect's. truth be told, it's sad.
especially when you have so much fun & memories with the whole board, the whole gang.
it won't feel the same after this. we'll be sitting back, watching our juniors take over our place & all we'll have to do is concentrate on our studies. ):

and so, today is a Wednesday. which means we have meeting tomorrow, where maybe we could finally flip the pages and continue on. besides, Friday is two days away. (:

today was quite interesting. four free periods which sums up to 2 hours of lesson-free. & the class started discussing about some plans. ;) you know, SPM is like 4 months plus away. graduation will be 5 months plus away. this is sad. I'm not that ready to grow up. I still want to play around and have fun with them.

On a happier note,
I read through some of my previous post and comments. & i felt different. It's like I've grown up so much over the past few months just because of a few stuff that has happened and took it's place in my life. and all i have to say for that is, I'm happy and satisfied with those little little stuff that has happened. never have i thought these stuff would happen.

and then.... oh no, i forgot what i wanted to say.
anyway, better get to the homework and start preparing myself for the big day.

let me tell you something,
we'll do this together okay?
I'll be by your side & you'll be there for me.
I'll help you with your flaws and so will you.
because all we need is each other.

us; & they live happily ever after.

you know how it feels when you're in the middle of a class
or in the middle of doing something,
and then you turn around,
& you see that certain someone.
smiling, looking at you;
& you feel that instant connection?

because well, it feels special.

like the rest of the world's in motion,
leaving the two of us behind;
while they allow this two beautifully crafted human
drown into our own world;
the world that only belongs to you & I,
the world that only has us.

& because i only see you.