that day;

under the sun, on green pastures;

that's where i long to be.

into deep thoughts.

yesterday was pretty okay i guess. went for an interview with the partner in crime, but I wanted to be in school so badly. do you know why? (:

physics paper tomorrow and I'm not done studying yet. I'm not a science geek, in case you didn't know that.

back to yesterday. went for the SASA interview in the morning. someone was so sweet to send me a message before we both left for our different destinations-one to school & another to the interview. reached there, saw ashman and started talking away because we knew no one except each other. then, people started coming and eventually the place was filled with students with different types of school uniforms. and and i saw quite a number of my ex-school mates, ex-puay chai-ians. Don't know if they recognised me. waited, registered, made friends, talked, walked, stared into space,waited,waited and waited; that's what i did. Ash went in first and I was only called at 11.25. Mine was pretty fast, i guess.

I just hope for the best. But if I don't get it, I believe that God has His better plans for me. like *ehem* not telling you. but it's something I wish for.
Well, shoot for the moon. And even if you fall, you'll fall among the stars.

and the cousin had her own interview too yesterday except that her's was at a different place.
ohh, all the best of the best to the both of us. make it three, including ashman. xD

my last night was not bad too. had balinese food with the family. I love the set up! but, had stomach ache throughout the day even before leaving home for the interview. So, eating spicy sour-ish food for dinner and plate full of spicy stuff for lunch is like adding salt onto the wound. nevertheless, I enjoyed! I'm not torturing myself.

And before I forget, joel c. gave me a very sweet birthday present on friday!
& even asked me to reunite the one he gave with the blue one i have. ;)

I had a very nice dream last night. It'll come true, hopefully.

okay,back to physics.
where was i again? oh yes, sound waves.

bottle full of worries.

worries, I don't like you.
you make me unhappy,
you make me worried.
you will never be my friend.
yet, you make me think about you day and night.

you're right after all.

alone seems to be the only word that explains it all.

you set me right.

teardrops.

I let the tears roll down.
I let myself cry out loud.
I allowed myself to fall into you.

thank you for being there.

it wasn't meant to be a knot.

I have this tendency of bottling up mixed emotions. I know when I'm happy, I let loose of myself in dancing around and making the world around me a better, happier place. or I just let go of my soul and let it move freely as it wish. And when I'm feeling down, everybody notices it.

Today while trying to fall asleep in the afternoon after a very not-relieving-and-saddening,depressing-tough-don't know what else to say-but-also-very-very-very-unexpected-and-hard-killer biology paper that gives me no hope and only made me dissapointed in myself, a pang of worries hit me left right, up down and inside out. I also received a call about the thing that was about to happen on Saturday which I'm dreading to go but I know I should. So much was on my mind and I couldn't put them aside to get a good rest after stuffing myself with biology facts. Even my usual method of clearing my mind didn't work. And so I sat up and thought about the worries I had, which was when I realise I needed to let it all out because it was unbearable and too much to contain within me. Now, I'm glad I did share it with someone.

Bottling up mixed emotions; this happens always. Even if I'm not feeling alright, I'll try my very best to hide it all. But i guess it's an useless effort because the depressing and sad side always manage to find it's way out, slipping right through my facial expression. I prefer to reassure the people around me that I'm alright. Unless it's a really heavy burden, I'll blurb out a word or two to very close friends and family only which I don't think they will be able get the clear picture with me mumbling away on sentences that don't fit right in place.

But there's always a hero in one's life. And I'm sure mine's been found.

Dear you,

you know better than anyone else that even little discrete matters or happenings can push me into deep thoughts. And once I fall into it, it is close to impossible for me to rescue myself out of it. So, you got to be there to set me straight. Well, you have always been there. (: I need you to always save me out of the hole that I dig for myself.

=) 5 _ _ _ _ _ _!

because you're that someone.

(:
I'm glad everything's getting better.
especially after something yesterday, right?
I definitely enjoyed every moment of it & was sad to have to be separated. ):

bio paper tomorrow then chem paper on friday!
I am so not ready.

had group study with some two boys yesterday.
had fun, I'm sure. (;
was bullied, VERY VERY SURE. AFFIRMATIVE.
with the 'birth control pills' and ......

**
before i forget and if you ever get a chance to read this,

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY
MATTHEW TAN JYH-ZAO!
(is that how you spell your name again? xD)

God bless always & I hope you're loving every moment in the land down under.
definitely miss you and the younger times we had.(:

those three words.

I know you didn't mean to,
it was just me being oversensitive.
I know you apologize,
but I burst up on you.
I guess I overreacted.
I wish I could turn back time and accept your apology.

you were right,
it was jealousy.
now I regret, I deeply truly know that I should not feel that way because of the reassurance I have.

I'm counting the minutes till we'll be alright.
because I can't bear going by another second knowing that we're not fine.

I hope you liked those little sincere words which comes right from the heart.

p.s thosethreewords.