& you alone.

dear you,

I know sometimes goodbye is the only way,
maybe the best way.
but I can't help but to think about the times we shared,
the joy you gave me,
the love you poured,
& the times where you light up the darkness I had.
I know I did a silly mistake,
by running away
when I knew we were happy and overjoyed to see each other.
would that happen in a glimpse just because of my mistake?

I'm sorry.

seeing you nowadays really makes me happy.
I don't know why I ran away that day.
& I regret.
knowing that you may like her,
makes me wonder more.

& I'm sure that I want it back.

you.

( : it.

meet my new friend.
got it yesterday. (:

so warm & cuddly.

-so many things reminds me of you.
elisA.

nic.nick.nicky.

hah.tagged by nic, again. forward to the bottom of the tag, the most interesting one. (:

The person who tagged you is : nicholas siew karwei ; nic nick nicky.

5 impression of him/her:
- a great friend, junior =)
- fun
- always smiling (;
- active
- someone who would never make you & I feel bored

Most memorable things she/he has give/done to you:
being there as a friend and junior. and always smiling whenever I see him. :)

If she/he becomes my lover, I will...
(: if that really happens, I'll love him?

I think I'll pass this back to nic again. xD

love, in return.

I had this imagination,
to make you my heart's adoration.
You were a sweet composition,
but now you're just a confusion.

-& yes, if you're still wondering,
I still do.
there are still uncountable hopes even if you've changed.

I had a dream just now. I dream that I wanted everything again. I told you I still care for you, but you told me something really disappointing. I hope it wouldn't happen.

I still remember the dream I had last year. The one where you didn't want to let go.
Tell me this would happen & you'll never let go.

so leave your foot steps beside mine.

"... remembering moments better as we wrote them than we do as we lived them. We spend our break-ups in tragic sentimentality, inspired to write out of bitterness and neglect, motivated by self-loathing and an unforgiving ego."

I read this in deviant art, recommended by jhoel. xD

writers,how true.

and all I have to say is..
I want to return your love.
-elisA.

i'll stop.

"you were in my imagination,
but now I do not need these illusion."

-10.38pm.
february 17th.2008.

unexpected.

ipod nanoooooooooooooo says:
and I bought another skirt today, by the way.
ipod nanoooooooooooooo says:
:l
& you're a teddy says:
BIG news wei

and so,my cousin sister bought another skirt today. hopefully she'll wear it more often.not once, but uncountable times, okay?

Eric says:
so what's your plan for the future?
& you're a teddy says:
umm..grow up.get married and live happily ever after.

beginning of the conversation......

Eric says:
no need to sleep early for school tomorrow?
& you're a teddy says:
need..but berat hati to leave the comp.
Eric says:
berat hati arh? hahaha

and so after a 1/2 hour conversation....when he wanted to go to sleep..

Eric says:
oh ya...better ringan heart to your computer now.

=)

& you're a teddy says:
yea. you're a girl too.
& you're a teddy says:
we can girl talk
& you're a teddy says:
xD
set your feet into motion as i play my hearts composition says:
ahah
set your feet into motion as i play my hearts composition says:
lets
& you're a teddy says:
okay
& you're a teddy says:
=)
set your feet into motion as i play my hearts composition says:
so how do we girls start
set your feet into motion as i play my hearts composition says:
guide me

hoe wei. (;

this 3 people. (:

could I just press rewind?

so, what do I do now?

loved.

(;
dearest friend,
you make me happy.

I can't tell you how much you mean to me,
but I can only tell you that...

I want you to be in my life always,
until the very end.

<3 always.

-and you'll be the sugar in my coffee forever.

couldn't you care more?

the sun shone,
as I walked.
you were right there,
and you seem to care.
I always felt that you care,
but now I don't know.

you were there most of the times,
but at times I feel invisible to you.
couldn't you care more?

I searched for you among the ocean of people,
and I found you.
a sigh of relieved slip through me.

now I know a little of the truth.
as I sit here,
I couldn't help but to think about it.
and I feel so lost.

Why must it be you?

you you you you you you you & you.

-cause only you know how to make me happy.
but couldn't you care more?

and valentine's came.

what a way to spend valentine's this year.

I twisted my knee again,for the third time.
clumsy careless me.
sigh.

sat in the hall for a president/secretary/treasurer workshop from 8am-1pm. then head for physics extra class till 2. prefect's meeting from 2-3.45. there goes half a day. at least I got to spend time with prem, karrern, chun yik, haris, ghafur and hoe wei while waiting for my dad to arrive at 5. =) great time with them. came back home and did my homework. still not done yet, but I'm about to fall asleep. so here I am, finding a way to make me stay awake.

many little surprising things happened today. (;

Happy Valentine's to you and me!

-and I saw you again.
elisA.

indecisive

I was indecisive few days back.
I still am, I'm pretty sure.

why is that feeling still there?
just when I thought everything was over,
and the sky was clear,
the sun was out,
it came back.

maybe all these wasn't meant to be.
or
maybe it was.

Can you tell me?

because I treasure this friendship.

tic tagged do

I've been tagged again by 3 different people but the same sets of question.so, here it goes again..

5 things found in my bag
-phone, book, camera, jacket, dolphin keychain.

5 things found in my wallet
-money, a note, identity card, plaster, pictures.

5 favourite things in my room
-my bolster, string of white lighting, teddy bears, storage boxes, my treasure box.

5 things I always wanted to do
-watch sunrise and sunset in the same day
-experience snow
-swim with dolphins
-watch stars and catch a shooting star
-write a book

5 things I'm currently into
-dolphins, pictures, poems, words, writing

List out the top 5 presents you wish for
-I still want that dolphin soft toy
-a new bible
-a surprise
-a paired chain
-to be always filled with love and joy

The person who tagged you is: Justine, Siew May and Kevin.
Your 5 impressions of him/her:
Justine- adorable, smart, loving, best cousin and she sometimes don't look chinese
Siew May- smart, quiet, always smiling, kind and hardworking
Kevin-my junior =), friendly, quiet at times, spend most of his time in the bilik disiplin, cares for his friends.

Most memorable things he/she has give/done to you:
Justine- So much things, it's uncountable. Staying up till morning with me in Sabah just to talk?
Siew May- A friend who is always there on my ride home.
Kevin- Doing all the prefects' work that we ask him to do without complaining? I know..being my junior.

If he/she becomes my lover, you will:
Justine- Laugh. It's impossible.
Siew May- wake up from the dream. xD
Kevin- umm..I don't know.

If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be:
Justine- (;
Siew May- (:
Kevin- (=
all three of them killed a dolphin or stole my dolphin toy.

Pass the quiz to 5 people that you wish to know how they feel about you:
I think I'll just stop here.

there was..

light, sound, fun, laughter, people and fooood.

along with fireworks.

and there were the dogs with their barks.

that made me awake last night.

back in paternal grandparents place since new year's eve. Might be going back home tomorrow morning. A lot have happened back here, I'll get into detail when I get back to PJ. The amount of snacks and food we have here every chinese new year is almost 5 times to my normal monthly snack supply. Soooo much yummy and good food. My grandpa, grandma and dad; the trio cooks very well. The ample amount of free time I have here in Johor was used to stare at the ceiling, recalling some stuff, dreaming and thinking about some unclassified issues. (; and I think I've made a decision. I think, I'm not sure. Sigh.

I know this is quite late, but Happy Chinese New Year to all of you!

New Year is for 30 days, so enjoy to the max and have fun!

will be having heavy dinner tonight too as we're celebrating my baby cousin's 1st year birthday.

-I sometimes wish regret doesn't exist.

elisa.

do you know?

5 things found in my bag
-jacket
-book
-phone
-camera
-ear phones

5 things found in my wallet
-Identity card
-a note <3
-a paper folded into two hearts
-money
-some membership card

5 favourite things in my room
-my pillows, bolster
-comforter
-my collection of Archie's, books
-the string of white lighting hunged by the window, on top of my bed
-my treasure box

5 things I always wanted to do
-I want to fly (who doesn't?)
-write tons and tons of poems and a book
-tour the world
-walk down the beach with someone
-have more guts

5 things I'm currently into
-writing
-being mysterious xD
-people
-sushi (I'm always into that)
-pictures

List out the top 5 presents you wish for
-that blue huggable lovable squeezable dolphin soft toy (mummy,can we go get it today?)
-a surprise birthday party
-a trip to somewhere with my friends
-lots and lots of japanese food
-I don't know what else

The person who tagged you is: Julian Lau Aik Hong
Your 5 impressions of him/her:
-close friend
-amazing
-totally random
-always so active, but can be emo at times
-the one sitting next to me (; ( julian, I just can't get u to stop eating, can I?)

Most memorable things he/she has give/done to you:
hmm..let me see. I guess to let me sit next to him? =) or was it the other way round?

If he/she becomes my lover, you will:
I wouldn't mind I guess. He's a nice guy. (remember what hoe wei and I told you? You're a nice guy.) But I think, I'll be laughing most of the time. Unbelievable.

If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be:
I stole all his food from his desk/pocket/bag. or I stole his magical fridge. xD
but, I know we wouldn't be enemies. right, juli-anne?

Pass the quiz to 5 people that you wish to know how they feel about you
-Justine (ohh..cousinku.)
-kevin (his love is the computer in bilik disiplin)
-siew may
-kok khong (fishball can bounce.)
-someone, anyone.
I sooo want to tag julian again.

(; have fun!

words by an orange.

I don't want to talk to you anymore..
because everything you say is hurtful.

I don't know what you are trying to do.
I wish I had the guts to ask you.

maybe you don't know that everything you say to me is hurtful,
but yes, it is.

I don't know.
I don't know.

and

I don't know.

-written in school, Feb 5th.

I don't know when cupid will strike.

does cupid strike only for love?

today was indescribable.
so many dramas, so much thoughts, so little air.
half way through Monday assembly, Vinod pointed out a dead rat outside lab 1. and lab 1 is right next to bilik disiplin. hopefully the rat won't be there anymore tomorrow. :3

During chemistry class today, Pn.wong told us that tomorrow would be her last day as she will be taking 2 months off to take care of Albert. and then something funny happened. one of my classmate left class for a while and when he came back, we found out something. apparently, he accidentally locked his parents at home. xD I don't know how did that happened, but he did.

ohh, Julian swallowed down a whole orange today during mod math class.

*****

I do not know when cupid will strike.
Do they strike only for love?

Whatever you said today,
was felt...
like an arrow pierced through the heart.

I do not know whether I want to repeat history.
how fickle minded I am.

along the way

... I found hope and joy.

Staying at home on a Sunday morning feels weird. I felt like I missed a thousand things. So, you figured, I did not attend church today. There are many reasons to it. =) and my sister sms-ed me from church.

sister : [friend's name] ask me why you didn't come.
me : haha what did you tell him?
sister : I ask him to ask you.
me : o.O ok. (: haiyo, sms during service arh you.lalala
sister : haha you sms him lah.
me : why?
-end of conversation-

I was on my way to publish a post with pictures from sabah. But, I accidentally deleted a few and the size was too small. So, I decided to just write. or actually type. I still have 2 more essays and a report to finish up. ;(
my days have been revolving around 3 things.
school, school and more school.

Tomorrow is a Monday and it's gonna be another busy day filled with homework, drama and i don't know what else. and chinese new year is around the corner.
Despite being busy and all, I've also been thinking a lot.
I learned a lot from the surroundings, my friends and all the happenings in life.
I've also been sharing with someone. and it always makes me feel much much better. (:
I'm really really sorry to whomever I've hurt or said something wrong to.

It rained,
as I sat next to you.
though you may not know,
at times I wished it did not happened so fast.
where did all the laughter and words went to?
you know, I miss them.

I don't know how you feel now.
you would probably hate me for all I've done or said.
But, I just want to say I'm sorry.

For all we've gone through,
for all the happy times,
for all the sweet things you've done and said,
I thank you.

pick me up.

this time, I'm really feeling entangled.
only you can untangle the knot in me, hopefully.
pick me up from the hole that I've fell into.

because I don't know what happened.
-yan.

first of second.

I twisted/injured my left knee. I don't know how I did that, but apparently I did. and it hurts. ;(

Today was pretty interesting, something different from the rest of the days in this week.The prefects' got to plant 10 trees around the school. That spells FUN. ;) We got grouped up with one/two seniors per group with 3 juniors each. Took our baby tree, went around the school in search of a perfect planting spot. We found it, but many came too. Then we went to the kebun area near Blok D, but we decided to plant it at the former desired spot. and so we headed back there. to our surprise, none of the prefect's were in sight. not long after,they returned. so, four groups planted our baby tree near to each other. Ashman's, Shaz's, Laveen's and mine. It was really fun, doing something more than the ordinary with the juniors. xD and syarifuddin made the spot where my group planted our tree look like an island. and we named our tree 'MEWS'- collaboration of our names, mira, elisa, wing yew and syarif. =)

Moving on...

I read my cousin's blog. and here is a short note to her ;)

dearest Justine,

I was just like you few months ago. always afraid of speaking in public, until I was forced to. I always had the phobia of speaking in front of large crowds, but not to the extent of being afraid to speak in front of four people only. xD I know I've overcome that fear and I'm pretty used to speaking in front of large crowds now. so, here as your cousin sister who is 18-days-elder, I really encourage you to go for it. Public speaking, I mean. I know you can do it, so does your parents and your friends. Come on, your English is so perfect that you got that 'best speller award- for your mad spelling skills'. Okayy, eventhough that might not be a real award, and if there was really one, I would like to give it to you too.
This would be totally challenging, a whole new experience. You never know what the future holds. =) You might be the next prime minister of some country. *hehehe*
By the way, make sure to record the whole public speaking event. I haven't seen you speaking in front of large crowds before and I really do desire to. But, if you decided not to, I'll support you too. and I won't force you. :) Remember, there's always a first time for everything.

p.s I miss you. ;)
p.p.s I miss the late night fun and late night talks in sabah.

Lastly, remember to tell me your decisions, ok?

love,
your cousin sister.

Take care everybody.