Wednesday, September 10, 2008

lost hope, lost again.

You took your advantage, an advantage which you created for yourself.

I never knew you were like that. As the Malay saying goes, "di luar bagai madu, di dalam bagai hempedu". I have always thought of you as a friend that I can laugh and share jokes with, but you crossed the boundaries. Not once, not twice but umpteenth times.Friends are meant to love, to care and to share; not to take advantage of. You started off doing something which I forgave you. Then you did another something which it made me felt really sad. I told that someone and he got all furious. Things started to settle down and I clearly remember telling you off in your face. Just that maybe you thought I was playing around. Then, you did your act again. This time, it scared the crap out of me, seriously. He was there with me, he saw and told me that he wanted to do something to you, but he did not. I guess you understood our facial expression as you instantly let go of me. Then again, I don't think you understood. because you came back days later and did something worst to me. This time, I couldn't take it anymore but I just didn't have the guts to do what he wanted me to. I ran away & searched for that shoulder to lean on. I'm very sure and I remembered that someone being angry and of course, it made me felt bad. I thought, why are all these happening and why am I bringing such pain to a loved one? But, I was assured and I know I will always have that little angel right by my side. Everything cooled down and we forgot entirely about what you did to me. And then today, you went way beyond our imaginations. You did something so bad that I don't think I can forget. I know I kind of pushed you away but again, you thought I was playing. and then again, you caused us all pain & sadness.


I have said this too many times,
Why are you doing this to me?

It started off with just a simple message of you asking me to be ________. I rejected, that's all. And you clearly deeply know and understand why I rejected your request.

I should have just did what I was told to. and I don't want to hurt someone so special to me again.
it is so bad and unacceptable that one of my kawan baik even offered to beat you up.and that someone have been very upset about it.
I am tired and exhausted with all your acts and your traits.

Please just let me go.
what you're doing now will not make me accept your request or give you whatever you wish for, it will only make me dislike you and I hate doing that.

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