Thursday, June 26, 2008

so tear me down.

and I'll tell you the truth.

the truth is, at this moment in time,
i don't feel like talking to anyone except for you.

because even thinking back about what just happened, i feel like screaming out loud. and i needed to make myself a cup of tea, just to cool down while my head replays all that has been recorded not too long ago. it is amazing how we tend to remember certain unhappy things and partially forget the happiness that we once had. in my case, the happiness is always there to erase the unhappiness. (: & I thank God for that.

still,what happened or better said what i heard today was very heart-breaking and it made me feel stupid. to those of you who knows what I'm referring to, you know how i felt. for the first time ever since July 30th 2007, i felt like a little kid who was easily tricked by pretty colorful candies. but the truth is, i know i knew that something was up and i played on, maybe hopefully making your little dramas into the big screens one day. and little did i know, everyone else thought i played on because i love your story line. in case you didn't know, I'm not that stupid. fine,maybe what the other characters involved in your little drama told me was a whole different story. but no matter what i hear or see, I'm not going to be influenced by you or the privileges you give me. then again, i shouldn't have played on because i didn't know your group of crew members thought of me differently when they were just maybe like you, pretending to be nice but hidden deep inside their hearts are ulterior motives and evil schemes.
I sure hope that after playing my role in your dramas, maybe you and your crew members would change for the better after also being warned, scolded and advised by both co-producers. and now,it has come to my realization that not only the whole drama team has been turning behind each other's backs, but also turning your oh-so-sweet-romantic-loving-friendship based drama that was about to hit the big screens into a not-so-sweet-i-don't-know-what-you-are-up-to-kind of drama that is bound to be rejected by the producers. and allow me to rephrase my sentence, not the whole drama team, but just the few main characters. then again, your drama has way too many main characters. I'm sorry, I'm confused as well.
maybe my perceptions were wrong about certain people. but you know what? i bet it's pretty tiring to change the masks that certain of you put on everyday to suite the different characters that you guys have to portray in the drama. so,why not remove the masks, get rid of them or just leave them backstage, so that we can all get a clear understanding of your storyline and most importantly, your true self. because at this moment in time, we need to know the real you behind that masks you have on everyday. I'm just curious, don't the few of you have lots of masks to keep? it must be troublesome.
I'm sorry if i sound sarcastic or if you think I'm about to burst a vein because I'm not. I'm as calm as i can possibly be and I'm even trying to make this interesting because well,you are also making everything as interesting, as pretty, as colorful, as attractive and as deceiving as you can so that we would all fall for it,and that your dramas would be the next hot topic in town, aren't you? Don't worry, because your dramas have already been the latest hottest most interesting issue that all the residence of our little village are talking about. so, you have your fame.and soon, you can run the town with your dramas & storyline being said and memorized by every living organism on earth and maybe even by the non-living organisms in Pluto.
to that particular few characters, all i hope for is just a sincere friendship from you. but if your motives are to replace me in the character I'm playing as, go ahead because i would gladly allow you to. and also because i don't mind stepping out of this place, allowing myself to explore the world with the one i love, drowning myself in floods of love and happy things. i might come by the old theater and visit the whole drama team anytime soon. but be ready, because i might just pay a visit anytime and i very much hope that your drama would make it into the entertainment world out there, not just our old-used-to-be-happy-and-loving-carefree village. this is also because I'm not very sure if our villagers are keen in the dramas that you have been paying so much attention to. sure,the shooting,the storyline and the process of our drama turn movie would be a first time experience to them, but they are just simple people who lives life with happiness and each other. they don't need your dramas to keep them company, all they need is each other, just as it should be.

so, before i take myself and my family to the outside world, would you please truthfully live your lives sincerely with happiness coming from little little pleasant things, and not allowing your lives being lived based on a drama? because a drama isn't real, it's just a play people put on to entertain and keep the other's company. but you and your team doesn't need to, because just as my family has and just as we hope for, your crew has each other to be each other's company, each other's friend, each other's shelter and each other's world. all you need is each other.

No comments: